April
by JacksStar
Summary: New story in celebration of April. Rose is on the brink of something, and what will happen next.
1. Escape

How could she have come so far, and yet gotten nowhere

How could she have come so far, and yet gotten nowhere? Time had stretched on and on, but as she tried to adapt to this new life, she could do nothing but think of how it was the same as before. Whereas that life had been nothing but small talk and money, this life consisted of only work and pain. She felt like the cage that had kept her captive for so long had been opened up into a lion's den, and she could do nothing to guard herself from the onslaught that faced her. Before that cruel April night that had robbed her of everything, she had been bored, and frustrated with the life allotted to her. Now every waking moment was constant misery. Minutes dragged by and seemed as if they were centuries lived by someone else. She had tasted freedom, and was now bereft of the one thing in life she had loved more than all other.

She wore a somewhat ragged skirt and blouse, replacing her dress which is now forever gone. At times she may have admitted to missing the opulent gowns which once adorned her starling beauty figure, but that would have meant she had shared her past with another. It was not since she left the ship itself that she would have admitted to being aboard. However she had come full circle and was almost completely as lost and alone as that day. She had found the money and diamond in Cal's coat, but had refused to use it. She had set out to make her own way in life, but had come to the realization that alone she could never make it, not after that night.

The cool calm blue ocean reflected the heavens to her and seemed to beckon her to its depths. It was late night, and most people would be asleep, snug in their beds on this strangely cool evening. She felt the same as she had then, although much poorer, and much more miserable. She took a small step forward, and put her hands on the railing before her. She had come to a small railing that kept one from falling off the cliffs of the park into the ocean. She saw the white crested waves calmly lap at the rocks below. She tilted her head and seemed to be almost considering its beauty. However when she took a step up onto the railing her intentions were proven. Her movements were eerily similar to those of the night the year before she had attempted this. As she stood now the same as then she knew there was no one to pull her back, no one to stop her. No one to pull her back, no one who cared… or even noticed. She began to lean forward in what seemed like an eternity of thoughts, cares and emotions. And then….

"Don't do it"

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Well, in celebration of the month that it all happened I offer another Titanic fanfiction! Hopefully major uploads most days until the 14th, on which day we dance jigs, and drink cheap beer until we puke. All in celebration of the lives lost I assure you.


	2. Nights

Rose jackknifed in bed

Rose jackknifed in bed. She was clammy against the rough sheets of her small cot. A soft light filtered in from the street lights on the city streets outside. Her small closet of an apartment was dark and smelled strongly of mildew. She felt closed in, but still so exposed to the entire city around her. Most of the time she felt eyes on the back of her neck, watching her every move, her every action, no matter where she went, nor how had she tried to escape. She had traveled clear across country since she had come back to America, trying to escape him, to escape his ever watchful eyes. Now she realized that he had moved on, that he had found another girl to enslave. It made her sick to her stomach in a way she never knew. Her heart broke into pieces for the girl now doomed to her past fate. Her paranoia still ensnared her as it had since the day Cal Hockley had claimed her as his future bride.

Now as she relinquished all thoughts of sleep over three thousand miles from where she laid her head, she sat up and picked up a book borrowed from her landlord. It was an old hardbound book, somewhat tattered and worn, but still had the same substance as if it were new. She picked up the book slowly, feeling its weight in her hands, feeling it anchor her to the reality of her life. As she sat at the foot of her bed and read by the filtered light, she realized in the back of her mind that she would be exhausted the next day. She knew that she would spend an entire day trying to act as charming and beautiful as possible for emotionless casting directors. She also knew that tomorrow night would be no different, that she'd most likely be unable to sleep for the rest of her life. So instead she read, and tried to let her mind relax and escape the dreams and thought that had so often haunted her.


	3. A Window View

An exhausted Rose slammed her apartment door and made her way slowly to her bed, where she collapsed

An exhausted Rose slammed her apartment door and made her way slowly to her bed, where she collapsed. She lay still for a moment debating whether to move, or to give over to her sever fatigue. She'd spent the entire day arranging stack after stack in alphabetical order around the shop. Mr. Biggs, her employer, had been out all day on some sort of rare book expedition across town, so with no help and no customers as usual, she spent her entire day in a cramped, stuffy, and very dusty book shop. She was sure that she had dozed off somewhere between arranging the P's and the Q's, but couldn't be sure. After locking up and triple checking that she had the keys she'd walked five blocks to city's theater. She'd then spent the entire evening smiling and acting beautiful on energy she did not have. She said her lines as convincingly and powerfully as she thought she could. A burly man had said they'd "get back to her", but she knew how it would go. Weeks would pass and there would be no word, but being that she had somewhat of a constant job it wasn't as pressing as it had been. When she'd first arrived in the city she had tried to make it on acting talent alone, but it seemed most theaters wanted the slinky blonds or the very curvy brunettes. She had considered dying her hair, but she could not part from the beloved red curls that had been her mother's only gift she had ever enjoyed. At times she chalked it up to not wanting to change… just in case. In case of what, she'd never tell, but there was always the possibility somewhere in the back of her mind.

Now as she laid face-first, fully clothed on her bed she shut her eyes tight and tried to gather energy to stand. Slowly, like a flag being raised up a flagpole, she sat herself up and began to pull of her ragged leather shoes off she felt far beyond her years. Her back and arms ached from her work, her ribs were far from cooperative from her past life of tightly laced corsets, but her mind was still sharp past the fog of tiredness. She picked herself off the bed, peeling off her coat, and picked up the bread she had bought herself for dinner. Unfortunately the day old crust was less than appealing and after nibbling a small corner crust with her teeth, she put it down and decided fresh air may be a better idea. She opened the small, spotted window that overlooked the city street. She sat down upon her bed looking out the window, looking at her wonderful view of the city's actions below. She watched the people as they passed, coming and going, running errands, spending time downtown with friends, or even just trying to make it. She shut her eyes tight and tried to resist the sting that being alone left, but she could never escape it. Maybe it wasn't so much being alone, but who she was without. She hoped the sting would lessen overtime but she couldn't be sure. A small breath of fresh air wafted into her window. The wind breezed gently through her hair, taking her back, taking her there. he wind was nostalgic, and it seemed to carry voices, calling her name, over and over. "Rose, Rose, Rose!" It wasn't until a pebbled smacked her square in the head that she realized that someone was actually calling her name.

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TA-DA! Hope you enjoyed, sorry for the lack of updates, but hopefully many more tomorrow! Please read and review!


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